It's Alway Been You
by StayStrongxox
Summary: Grief affects people in different ways... Emotions build on top of us and before we know it, we're acting on the impulse... Set after 5X03. Now a three-shot and FINISHED!
1. Chapter 1

**I know 5x03 hasn't aired yet... I'm terrified. The promo was only 30 seconds and I was crying my eyes out! I'll be crying buckets on Thursday!**

**Anyway, this came to me in my mind. People grieve in different ways, and end up reacting differently to people dying and that's whats I wanted to show. Hope it comes across.**

**Enjoy x**

* * *

Kurt and Santana were at their local coffee shop, both of them silent. Kurt was thinking about his brother, Finn, who had died the previous week. Santana just looked at her stone cold coffee, her mind unable to process that Finn was gone.

'Can I get you guys anymore coffee?' Dani asked, cautiously. Santana jumped at her girlfriends voice, but shook her head, shooting her a smile. Dani nodded, stroking Santana's hair, before walking back to the coffee station.

'Should we have really left Rach on her own?' Santana asked

'She said she wanted to be alone. I respected that' Kurt said, his voice holding no emotion.

'Kurt, she hasn't even slept since she found about Finn! She's going crazy back there!'

'Its her coping mechanism. Everyone has different ways of grieving' Kurt answered. He didn't mean to sound cold, he was grieving as well and the last thing he needed was to listen to Rachel's cries of heartbreak every night. Santana opened her mouth to speak, but closed it after deciding against it...

* * *

Dani watched her girlfriend and her new friend grieve over the loss of their brother and closest friend. When Santana had called her and told her, she hadn't really known what to do, because she had never been in that situation. She had allowed Santana round, to comfort her, before telling her she needed to be with her friends. Santana had bee reluctant at first but slowly realized she was right. Ambulance sirens in the distance brought her back to the present. She frowned as they flew past the coffee shop and walked to the door, heading to inspect it, a feeling of dread settled in her stomach...

* * *

Back in Lima, Carole was finding the loss of her son hard. She had been pushing Burt away, wanting to grieve on her own. She had already been through a burial with Finns Dad, but she never thought she would be burying her son as well. No parent should ever have to bury their child before themselves. She was curled up on Finn's old bed, his jumper and a photo of him clutched to her chest as she cried. On the other side of the door, Burt listened to his wife, wishing he could do something to help her...

* * *

Kurt's mind was in a whirlwind. All he could do was think about his brother, his best friend. Was he alone when he died? Was someone with him? Was he in pain? What happened? All of them questions would remain unanswered. Instead, he was left to try and but the family and Rachel back together. He knew he should be helping his stepmom first, but he hoped his Dad would be able to comfort Carole till he went home. He sighed and looked up to the evening sky, the sun settling in New York City. Another day without him.

'The sunsets beautiful... Isn't it?' he murmured. Santana followed Kurt's gaze and nodded.

'Yep' she agreed softly, before glancing at the clock. 'We'd better get back to Rachel. Come on' Santana said, getting to her feet and slipping on her jacket. Kurt sighed heavily and got to his feet, slipping his coat on and zipping it up. He sighed and held out an arm to Santana, for her to take. She took it and together they headed out into the cool evening air. They headed back to their apartment block, frowning as they saw an ambulance outside.

'What the hell?' Santana exclaimed. It was the first time since she moved to New York, that she saw an ambulance outside of any apartment. Kurt frowned. He quickened his steps, Santana's arm falling free from his. He opened the doors and rushed up the stairs, Santana behind him.

'What the hell!' Santana exclaimed again, as thye both saw their apartment door open. They saw the super stood outside the little crowd what had gathered.

'OI1 Move it! We live here!' Santana ordered, pushing through the throng of people, gripping Kurt's arm. It was then that the Super, Kevin (**A/N: Made up the name)** stepped forward.

'Guys, don;t go in there!'

'Like hell we are!' Kurt said, rushing through the slide door and stopping dead, making Santana run into him. Both of their mouths dropped open in shock.

'What the hell has she done?' Santana questioned, her tone horrified. The living room was a tip, like Rachel had been in a fight with everything and ripped it, smashed it, thrown it anywhere in the room. Kurt dragged his eyes to Rachel's bedroom and rushed forward, only for a paramedic to stop him entering the room.

'Son, you can't come in here! Wait outside please!'

'She's my roommate!' Kurt shouted, dragging his eyes round the destroyed room, glass littered the floor, clothes thrown everywhere, jewellery thrown onto the floor. 'Is she okay?' he asked, his voice watery. The paramedic sighed and Kurt shoved him away from him and rushed into the room, stopping dead the sight in front of him.

'No... Oh please no!' he gasped, as he fell to his knees and slowly, with very shaky hands, pulled the sheet back...

* * *

Rachel didn't have a clue where the hell she was. She looked round, trying to search for clues to help her, when a voice startled her.

'Well... Didn't expect to see you so soon'. Rachel spun round, her hand on her heart. She froze when she saw who it was.

'Finn?' she murmured, not wanting to get her hopes up. He smiled from his stance, leaning against a gleaming white door frame, his left leg crossed over his right and his arms folded.

'Its me, darling' he said, smiling his mega-watt smile, which was reserved for Rachel only. He noticed Rachel was either frozen, or not wanting to get her hopes up. 'Babe, I'm real. I promise'

'But... you're dead' the word ripped from her throat, causing her to shudder and clamp a hand to her mouth, as the tears came fast and flowing. Finn rushed forward and wiped them away with the soft pad of his thumbs. She let out a choked gasp, as she started to hyperventilate. 'Shhh... Shhh, it's okay. I'm here! I'm here!' Finn reassured her, as he gently pulled her in for a hug, his strong arms wrapping round her shoulders and her waist.

'It's you! You're here!... I can touch you!' Rachel sobbed into his chest, gripping his shoulder tightly. Finn felt his own tears making their way down his face, as he relished holding Rachel in his arms again. After she had gotten herself under control, Rachel hiccuped and lifted her head. 'Where am I?' she asked, gripping his biceps, so he wouldn't move.

'You're in heaven. Thought you would've noticed that when you saw me' Finn said, his lopsided smile making an appearance. Rachel looked confused for a minute, before she remembered what had happened.

'Oh... I...' her sentence trailed off, turning her wrists over and examining them. Finn noticed this and stroked them.

'What you did was incredibly stupid! But... I've been watching you. I know that you would find it hard without me, even though you hadn't seen me since Valentine Days, but-' Whatever Finn was going to say never made it out of his mouth. Rachel had crushed her lips to his in a long awaited, passionate kiss.

'Grief affects people in different ways... Mine was to smash up everything and... Well, you know the rest' Rachel panted, trailing off. Finn lifted her head, his forefinger under chin, connecting their eyes.

'You don't regret it, do you?' he asked, his voice showing a hint of nerves. Rachel shook her head.

'I always knew you were the one. Yes, I had my dream role as Fanny, but then when I heard about you... Nothing mattered anymore. My life was empty without you! It was always going to be you, Finn. You're it for me... The One' Rachel confessed. Finn felt like his heart could explode with the love he had for Rachel.

'You're it for me too. No one else will ever compare to you!' he confessed, before connecting their lips again. Rachel pulled back and smiled, resting their forehead together.

'How about you show me around this place?' she asked, smiling her true smile for the first time in a week. Finn smiled back and took her hand.

'Thought you'd never ask' he said, pulling her along, their hands clasped together tightly...

They were Finn and Rachel.

Finchel.

They were endgame...

* * *

**R&R :D xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**I didn't know whether to continue this as a twoshot... Until a reviewer asked if I would consider doing a chapter where it showed what happened to Rachel.**

**I have decided to do it, but please read if you are only comfortable with mentions of suicide. It won't be graphic, I promise.**

**Please, again read at your own expanse :) I did warn ya!**

**Enjoy x**

* * *

The door shut as Santana and Kurt went out, leaving Rachel on her on own. She was sat on the sofa, staring at the blank TV with lifeless eyes. She was dressed in one of Finn's shirts and his cardigan, which she had kept when he visited her in New York. She closed her eyes and choked on a tear, what slipped down her cheek. She took a deep breath and slowly got up from the sofa, wrapping Finn's cardigan around her tightly, as she headed in the direction of the kitchen. However, she froze when she smelt a very familiar scent.

'Finn?' she asked, out loud. She looked around the apartment, watching closely for any sign. But all she saw the same four walls she had been staring at for the past week. She sighed and turned back around, before walking a few stops and feeling someone brush their fingers against her neck.

'FINN?' she screamed, her hand clasping the back of her neck as she whipped round. Her head moving in every direction. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself. She headed to the fridge and yanked it open. She groaned as she remembered that she was supposed to go shopping today. All that was in the fridge was cheese, butter and some eggs along with some milk and water. Her eyes landed on the cheese and she remembered the time 'Grilled Cheesus' had been born, thanks to Finn's toastie maker. She let out a guttural cry and slammed the fridge door shut. A hand slammed to her mouth as she tried to stop the sobs erupting form her mouth. She rushed back into the living room, accidentally knocking into the small cabinet they had. The cabinet crashed to the floor, glass shattering as it connected with the floor. She froze.

'Shit' she whispered, as she knew Kurt was proud of the cabinet. She went to pick it up, when a cold gust of wind swept through the room. She whipped round, her eyes going straight to the window. It was locked. 'WHY ARE YOU DOING TO ME?' she screamed, her hands going straight to her hair and clutching her head as she let the sobs rip from her throat. She hit the wall as she stumbled back. She screamed and acted before she thought. She grabbed the photo frame off the wall and threw it across the room, watching as it shattered onto the floor...

* * *

Kevin was watching the New York game on TV, when fainting banging got his attention. He frowned and grabbed the remote, switching the TV to mute. He listened and realized the noises were coming from the Hummel-Berry-Lopez apartment. He could here the screams of anguish and despair. He sighed and grabbed the keys, heading up the apartment, failing to notice it went quiet after he stepped out of his apartment...

* * *

Rachel didn't know what was wrong with her, but smashing nearly everything in the living room and her bedroom felt so good. She swept her arm across her vanity dresser, everything, including the mirror, smashing onto the floor. She wrenched her wardrobe doors open and tore her clothes out of the wardrobe, throwing them anywhere. She stumbled into her bathroom, ignoring the knocking at her apartment door. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was glad Santana had bolted the door shut. She gripped the counter with her hands, staring at the unrecognizable reflection in the mirror. She had glass stuck in her hair, from when it bounced back. She choked on the sobs that were still erupting from her throat.

'Finn! Please... Please come back! Come back!' she sobbed, sliding down the counter and to her knees, clutching her heart. She suddenly felt tired and slumped against the counter, her head falling to the side. Something gleamed in the bottom of the bin and sh crawled towards it. She dug around and brought up into the palm of her hand. She held it up, holding between her thumb and forefinger, before bringing it down without a second thought...

* * *

William Schuester didn't expect to wake up at 2:46am. He groaned and slipped from the bed he shared with Emma. He goraned and padded through his apartment to the kitchen, answering the phone.

'Hello?' he yawned into the reciever

_'Mr Schuester?'_ came a watery voice. Will's head shot up, awake and on full alert.

'Kurt? Why are you ringing at three in the morning?' He questioned his former student. Kurt sniffle don the end of the reciever. Will sighed. 'Listen, Kurt... I know you're still hurting over Finn-'

'_Rachel's dead! Killed herself in her bathroom! Me and Santana only went to the coffee shop, because Rachel told us to! We came back and she's dead!'_ Kurt cried, finally letting his tears fall. He could hear Santana's cries as she informed Rachel's Dads of what had happened. Will's eyes widened in shock.

'What?' he questioned, his legs feeling weak, butt he used the wall to support himself.

_'Rachel's dead! Bled to death after harming her wrists badly, and I mean badly!'_ Kurt cried. Will sunk to the floor, as the news settled in. Not Rachel. Rachel, who had her whole life ahead of her, denistied to be the next Broadway superstar. He was so caught up in letting his own tears, he didn't realize Kurt was still on the other end. He gathered himself together and spoke into the receiver.

'Kurt! Listen to me! Do you want me to come over?'

'No! Me and Santana are gonna fly back tomorrow!... Can we... Can we meet up? the gang and you? I think I'd like to hold a memorial... A joint one for Finn and Rachel... I think they'd like that' Kurt asked him. Mr Schuester smiled

'Of course. Just call Blaine tomorrow with the details and tell him to pass them onto me... I have a few thing I would like to say about them both' he said.

'Okay... I'll- I'll see you tomorrow... Sometime... Bye' Kurt said, hanging up so he could let out the tears in private. Back with Mr Schuester, he let the phone drop to the floor and he let the tears fall.

'Will? What's happened?' Emma asked, as she had heard his cries from their bedroom. She crouched down besides him and hugged him tightly. 'What's happened?' she repeated softly.

'Dead... Rachel... Dead' he gasped out between sobs. Emma's eyes widened at Will's response and instinctively hugged him tighter. She slowly felt her own tears build and let them fall, as they grieved together, for the loss of another bright star...

* * *

**R&R :D xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**I know I said this was only a twoshot, but after some reviews saying I should carry it on to show the memorial... I decided to do just that. This is the last chapter, as it will round everything off in a special goodbye.**

**Hope you all enjoy**

* * *

McKinley High School was silent. The normally loud, noisy hallways filled with chattering student were deserted. The classrooms were silent as the chairs balanced on top of the table, waiting to be used the next day. The Janitor was wiping the floor, in a world of his own, whistling a tune as he went about his job. The only other place in the school which was currently been used was the auditorium, which held special memories for the students of McKinley High. The auditorium was gathered with Glee club members past (Puck, Mike, Santana, Kurt, Quinn and even Matt had returned to say goodbye to his friends) and present (Brittany, Tina, Blaine, Artie, Jake, Ryder, Marley and Sam) were gathered along with Mr Schue, Coach Silvester and Coach Beastie, Ms Philsbury and Principal Figgins, Burt, Carole, LeRoy and Hiram to say a private farewell to Rachel and Finn. Rachel's funeral had taken place exactly two weeks after Finn's and they had been buried next to each other, at a strange and haunting request from Rachel, what Kurt had found stuck to his mirror on a post it note the night Rachel had taken her life. They all took their seats as Principal Figgins took to the stage.

'We are all here this evening, to pay our private respects to two students who graduated from this very school, just a few months ago. Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry were two students who were very committed to making something of themselves. The Quarterback and The Rising Star, never the ones to let anything stand in their way. We now, very prematurely, celebrate their lives, by sharing some of our memories of Finchel, as they were christened. I will now pass you over to Mr Kurt Hummel... Kurt, up you come' Principal Figgins said, smiling gently at Kurt as he made his way up to the stage. Kurt cleared his throat, before he began to speak.

'Well, I never thought I'd be up here, finding the courage to speak about the death of my brother and now, one of my closest friends and would have been future sister-in-law... Rachel was heartbroken over what happened to Finn, but I never thought she would've taken her own life. She had her whole life ahead of her. She had just got the role of Fanny Brice on Broadway when she had gotten the news...' Kurt cut himself of ass he choked on a sob. He sniffled before getting himself under control. 'Sorry, erm... Finchel. Finchel is what we called them. They had their ups and downs as a couple, but they always made it back to each other. They were endgame, Finn actually told Rachel that once. Nothing could break them apart, not even death could...' Kurt broke himself off again, as he took a deep breath through his nose. 'I remember when they got back together after losing Nationals in junior year. They came back from New York and a few weeks later, I finished school early, so I went home ready to start my weekend and I saw them fall asleep on the sofa with smiles on their faces, the TV playing away to itself. It was the first time I'd seen Finn truly happy in weeks. They may have been asleep, but when you live under the same roof as him, you tend to pick thing up' Kurt said. 'I'll never forget my brother or my closest friend. Tonight we will honor them in our own way and I'm glad that I'm honoring them with you guys...' Kurt said, before nodding at Puck to say his piece.

'Well, never did I think we'd be saying goodbye to Rachel Berry. She and Finn... They went through a lot together, but when I heard that Finn had...' Puck stopped in his speech, his voice choking a certain word. Quinn looked surprised at watching her ex. Out of everyone, she never expected Puck to be the one to be stumbling over his speech. Although, she knew that he hadn't even grieved for Finn's death either.

'Puck?' she called, his eyes snapping to his. 'It's okay. Take your time and relax' she told him gently. He smiled lightly and nodded.

'Sorry... erm..' Puck cleared his throat before continuing. 'Finn and Rachel... they went through a lot together. But each time they did, they went back to each other stronger than ever. Finn once told me... the only thing to truly tear them apart for good was death and... well Rachel proved him wrong... I'll actually miss Berry and her annoying little traits. They grew on you after a while...' he stopped and chuckled along with everyone else, before carrying on. 'Anyway, The Quarterback and Rising Star, you better be looking down of us right now!' Puck said to the ceiling, but people knew he was talking to Finn and Rachel. He gave a single nod of his head and walked from the stage, wiping his eyes as he did. Matt stood up then, walking to the stage with his hands shaking.

'Hi guys. For those who don't know me, I'm Matt Rutherford. I used go to school here and was part of Glee club at one point' Matt introduced himself, before looking at Schue. 'Heard you finally won Nationals, Mr Schue. Great job' he congratulated him. Mr Schue smiled at him, before Matt carried on his speech. 'Anyway, I also knew that Finn could speak better through a song, and after being at school for so long, I soon learnt that too. So, instead of talking about them, I'm going to sing a song for them...' Matt said, heading for the stool what was placed on the stage and a microphone.

Memories  
All I have is memories  
All I have is memories  
Memories of you

Now you're gone  
They linger on, these memories  
All these precious memories  
Memories of you

How they linger in the twilight  
In the morning in the small hours  
Just before dawn

Matt looked at the others sat watching them. He never thought that he'd be back here, singing tribute to two of his friends. He always thought he'd be singing at their wedding, not their memorial.

Memories  
Of summer days so long ago  
People in the places  
That we used to know  
Oh those memories

How they linger in the twilight  
And in the wee small hours  
Sometime just before the dawn

Oh those memories  
Oh happy times those memories  
All I have now is memories  
Memories of you

Oh memories  
All those precious memories  
All I have is memories  
Memories of you

'Rest In Peace, guys! You'll always be with us' Matt said, his voice thick with emotion. He was about to step off stage when the doors banged open, making the others jump and turn round in their seats.

'HOW DARE YOU?! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME MY OWN DAUGHTER WAS DEAD!' screamed Shelby, as she stormed up to LeRoy and Hiram, who got to their feet.

'Shelby, we had no clue where you were' Hiram said

'I WAS IN NEW YORK! I LIVE THERE!' she screamed at her daughters Dads.

'You weren't even in contact with Rachel at the time of her death! She hadn't heard from you for a few weeks' Kurt said, walking up the few steps to confront Shelby.

'I always wanted her to make the move. I always left the ball in her court at whether she wanted me as a mother or as a friend! So don't think for one second that I don't care about my daughter!' Shelby hissed, pointing a finger at Hiram and LeRoy. Mr Schue stood up to gently intervene.

'Shelby... You're more than welcome to pay your respects for your daughter, but if not... I would like you to leave. We're here to remember Finn and Rachel in our own way, so please respect it' he told Shelby. She sighed and looked round at the student gathered.

'If your honoring my daughter... Then the least you can do is let me say goodbye through a letter what I wrote?' Shelby asked. Mr Schue sighed and looked at the students gathered, some of who nodded, some shrugged their shoulders and some didn't do anything.

'Hiram, LeRoy... It's up to you' Schue told them, looking at them and headed back down to his seat. Hiram and LeRoy sighed and thought for a minute, before relenting.

'Okay... Fine. Just don't make a scene' said Hiram. Shelby nodded and looked grateful, heading towards the stage, climbing up the steps gracefully and walking towards the microphone. She cleared her throat before beginning.

'My darling Rachel... If there's one thing I regret, it's not allowing myself to get to know you sooner. You were my first and only child, my little ray of sunshine, even if I didn't get to hold you after you were born, I saw you for a spilt second and you were perfect... When you contacted me when you were eighteen, I felt like my whole world just brightened. But then, I realized that I had missed out on so much and that you didn't really need a mother... Because you were you and you were growing up so fast...' Shelby broke off as the realization that Rachel wouldn't be around anymore shook her to the core. She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoudler and looked up to find Hiram stood next to her. He gently pulled the piece of paper from her hands and finished reading the letter to Rachel.

'I got the second chance to be a mother again to Beth, but it wasn't the same. I love Beth like any mother would love her child, but I also wished that I had that kind relationship with you... I alway left the ball in your court because I wanted to be sure it what's you wanted, for you to know me. I would never try to pressure you into something what you didn't wan to do, which is why I always left the contact up to you... Look after my little girl, Finn. Goodnight, God bless'. Everyone in the auditorium was sobbing, even LeRoy. Hiram led Shelby off the stage, passing Santana, who was making her way up to the stage and walked towards the mircophone.

'Erm.. Okay, as most of you guys know me, Frankenteen and Hobbit didn't always get along, but after moving to New York and moving in with Hobbit, she was actually quite fun to live... If you took away the annoying habits she had of singing every single minute of the day, and her need for everything to be clean. So, I prepared a little DVD tribute for them... So, this is for you, Frankenteen and Hobbit!' Santana said, looking upwards and slotting the DVD into place, before stepping off stage and back to her seat. The DVD started and white curvasive writing appearing on the screen:

Finn and Rachel

Afterwards a few pictures showed up on the screen, before they cut out and a video came up.

_'Finn, get the camera out of my face!' Rachel squealed_

_'Oh come on! It's the first day of Summer before senior year and we have to celebrate it!'_

_'Not with a camera in my face first thing in morning! I look horrible!' Rachel said, attempting to pull Finn's duvet over her head. The camera blurred as Finn turned the camera to face him._

_'She looks beautiful, right? The most beautiful girl I've seen in the morning!' Finn said, before spinning the camera back onto Rahcel, who had peeked out ofrom under the duvet and her cheek tinted red._

_'Promise me, no one will see this?' Rachel questioned. Finn chuckled._

_'I promise, baby! I promise' he said, before the screen slowly faded black and a few pictures of them at their senior prom came up. Just then, they heard the gentle sound of 'Faithfully being sung by Finn and Rachel, as the video slowly came on screen._

_'So, lookie here at what we found' Santana said to the camera, before peeking the lense over the little ledge on the door, so they could see Finn and Rachel sat on the floor, watching the sunset, singing._

_'How cute are they?' they heard Kurt squeak_

_'Like two love sickened teenagers' they heard Puck say in the background, before it faded to show a final photo of the two, taken by Santana at one point. They both had smirks on their faces and Finn had his arm wrapped tightly and protectively round Rachel's waist as she leaned into him. Underneath the photo, their dates of births and dates of death appeared on screen, along with a single sentence._

_They are Endgame._

* * *

Half an hour later, they were all stood outside, in groups of three or four (Puck, Quinn, Mike, Tina), (Burt, Carole, Kurt), (Santana, Brittany, Mike) (Coach Sylvester, Coach Beastie and Artie), (Jake, Marley and Ryder) and (Mr Shue, Ms Pillsbury and Principal Figgins) to send off some Chinese lanterns, which were Blaine's idea. After lighting them all, he handed one to each group and counted down from three.

'Ready? Three.. Two... One!' he called and they all let go of the lanterns, watching them as they floated off into the night sky. Kurt felt Carole and Burt squueze each of his shoudlers as he sniffled.

'Bye brother, bye Rach... Till we meet again' he whsipered, saying a private farewell to them. a steps away from them, Puck had hold of Quinn as she sobbed softly into his shoudler, while Mike held Tina tightly as her legs gave away from under her. They watched as the lanterns became little orange dots in the sky and smiled proudly, sensing some closure from the pain what they had been suffering the last few weeks...

* * *

**R&R :D xx**


End file.
